Bismillah ArRahman ArRaheem. Asalaam ualaikum,

I have been thinking about this blog for awhile now. I have enjoyed surfing some Mom blogs lately, based on cooking cheaply and healthy as possible. I have had some medical stuff going on, as well as feeding my brood~all 6 of us, homemade stuff as much as possible, and convenient too, since I am going back to school, and am taking on three classes.

I have started shopping on either Mondays, or Fridays, just because I tend to find myself going constantly to the store, sometimes 1 day or more. And this adds up since you know we can't just pick up the one item-and it's even harder with children. I don't like lunch, per se, so eating out is a BIG time temptation. But, as a treat, I had to go shopping when all 4 kids were with me, oh about 6 weeks ago, but Alhamdulillah it worked out pretty well. I try to go in the morning, just because nap time is Holy Time for me-time to rest and pray, and rest, and after the kids (2 of them) wake up, I have to get started on dinner, and life goes on-plus who wants to go grocery shopping in the late-afternoon traffic anyway?
Anyway, getting off topic again, my husband is allergic to shrimp and shellfish. This allergy runs in his family, but it has developed over the past few years, masha'Allah, but he remembers, as well as my two older kids, when we would have shrimp, lobster (my in-laws are from Maine; tragically, they can't eat the lobster), scallops, you name it, we ate it! Especially steamed shrimp with old bay seasoning, but anyway, I digress (again!). Usually by the time I get everyone back in the car, with the realization these groceries won't walk themselves into the kitchen, and nap time is almost here, I would go to BK etc and get something for each kid off the $ menu and provide drinks and fruit. Which isn't bad on occasion, but can seriously add up over time, and remember this time there were 5 of us. I bought a bag of frozen, peeled shrimp for $5, and had all of the rest of the ingredients for homemade shrimp fried rice-mmmmmhmmmm. Masha'Allah, the rice was leftover, so I didn't even have to cook it! So, while the kids helped put away the groceries, I made that-and there were leftovers, and my kids were quite happy they were getting a treat! Take that, BK! and do not get me started about McDs LOL!!! It was super easy, I sauteed them with some onions, and garlic and soy sauce (used up from Chinese take-out), and made the scrambled egg separately then added it in with the frozen peas and rice, and presto~awesome. Alhamdulillah.
But, see the key with really sticking to the budget is to use up what I have, and I will make up my Menu; I have even started planning on different snacks for different days, as well as breakfast and lunch. It does take a little time, but to me its like a game; an organizational game of what goes where when. And, I sat down with my family and asked them what their favorite meals were, and what they didn't like. Some things every one said, I don't make much, unless its something I like and just for me (though I would encourage them to take 1 bite). There is no point in wasting my time and money on what they are not going to eat in the first place.
Salaam ualaikum and thanks for reading!

My Cowife is back.....

Well, Alhamdulillah, just before my classes start next week my co-wife came back to my husband, Alhamdulillah, all shiny and new, and hopefully, insha'Allah, much better behaved. Her name is "Toby" and if I have to take my laptop to classes with me, then at least he can spend some time with Toby, since we don't have tv, and most if not all the children will be in bed before I get home from my classes, masha'Allah. Alhamdulillah, though I don't THINK he'll send me away when I misbehave, LOL :).
Even though, technically, this isn't a picture of her, as this is an HP, and he has a Toshiba, but you get my drift, LOOL!

Revelations

Asalaaam ualaikum. Last night, I had a revelation. My children, eek, are all light sleepers! So, some disturbance had woken my youngest, Daniel, who is 1.5 years old masha'Allah. Actually, as I went in to tuck him in, I needed to change him anyway. So, he was half in and half out of sleep, all warm and snugly, and as I had just made wudu for my night prayers, (Isha, etc). So I changed him, and cuddled with him, and just accepted it. Yes, I had my own agenda, my own list of to-dos to be finished, never ending it seems as a mother to 4 and a wife to 1.
I just sat there, and cuddled him and accepted what was. He was all so warm and cuddly and smelled so good, masha'Allah. I thought of how many times, I have put in a movie or sat down with the kids, to open the laptop. Then, when they came to me, either 1)I had them sit beside me, or 2) when that wasn't good enough and they wanted to sit on my lap, sans computer, I got irritated with them. Well, hello, that was my job!?! Who am I to say or be irritated? They are the ones that need me, and only I can fill or not fill my place, my role in their life.
So, what was my revelation? Idk, exactly, other than its easier to just accept what is, instead of what I want, than I realize.

New Paths, New Hopes, Old Fears

Wow, two whole blogs in less than a week, I am breaking my own record, LOL...I am blogging today to get out the negative voices in my head panicking saying I can't do this...maybe, it won't be what's meant to be, AllahuAleim, but I am going to stick with this if I can, and try my hardest and work my butt off. I don't care if it means I don't go to bed at night till 1 or 2 am, or what not, I want this. I want to be a nurse insha'Allah. Yes, I started off the first year out of high school (oh my what a baby I was, LOOL!!), and went 1 year, my grades were so-so my first semester, and sadly some classes I failed my second semester, but the ones I have available now, 12 years later (OMG, really? that long??) have at least allowed me, insha'Allah, to be able to take up to 10 credit hours a semester, at night, after my husband gets, home so they aren't with a babysitter, my husband can watch them, and all be good. At this point, after talking to a counselor, she said I should be able to graduate from nursing program, with an RN degree, in 4 years. Now, that being said, I know how things can go; so far, the IUD looks good, but AllahuAleim that when Allah says BE, HE means BE, so if I get pregnant, then I finish the semester I am in, and try again in another couple of years. Same goes with my husband's application to Saudi Arabia; if he gets accepted at UmmAl'Qura, in Makka, then Alhamdulillah. My transcripts will be there when we get back, insha'Allah. But, my goal isn't to make a ton of money-hahahahahaha, looool......yeah, right. Nope, my plan, should I live that long or insha'Allah it will go as planned, I would like to graduate with my RN, go to work to pay off my massive substantial student loan, and go back in a few years after that, to get my midwifery degree. I figure that, insha'Allah, by that time, USA will have universal health care, and if they follow the path of Sweden (if they are smart, but hey, I'm not saying...:), then Midwives will be in mucho demand. Once they realize that C-sections are not good to jump to, that women's bodies (and I know this will come as a shocker, folks) are capable of childbirth, and have always been capable for millions of years, that childbirth is an empowering experience, and sometimes the recovery period is so so much different between the two, natural labor verses a c-section, then midwives will be back on the scene. Okay, so enough of my tangent, and I will descend from my soap box now :P. But its the voices inside my head that won't go away. The ones that say Im so stupid I am going to like going to school, but once it gets to the point where I am out on my own, I am going to mess up, going to screw it up, going to kill someone, authobi'Illah....it goes on and on. But, I want to help, I love love love the documentaries on TLC that make my dh want to gag, I am always interested in medicine and science, and what I want to do I feel I want to help people, I want to make a difference. And, yes, I want to be there for the Muslim community, be the advocate if they need it if they are at the hospital etc and need a Muslim there to help. I do plan on wearing hijab, and will just wear a long sleeve shirt under my scrubs, with an Al-Amira hijab, so it doesn't have loose ends, and tuck it in my shirt. Who knows, maybe I can even custom make it so they can come down to my knee or just above. I am full of hope, I just pray that hope comes to fruition....Insha'Allah.

I picked the name, KhadijaWannabe, because, as a Muslimah, I never chose to change my name. I felt, that after all of the heart ached I had to suffer through, once again, with my parents, and my family, that changing my name, the name my parents gave me upon my birth, would just spit in their faces. I have had friends who tell me my name doesn't match my religion; okay, hold up!! I don't have a "bad" name, I have an American name-because that is who I am. I have revamped my total thought process, my home, my life and my family's life. That being said, Alhamdulillah, so much for the better, Allahu Akbar, Allah Be Praised!! But, there is only so much a person can change in a few years, and let's please remember, the Prophet, Salla Allahu Aleyhi Salaam, recited the Quran over 23 years, from the first ayahs to the final ayahs. And that's not a cop out, but merely, I am a stubborn headed person, who has to do things on her own terms and time frame for it to be sincere. And trust me when I say I am stubborn, especially what I have been through over my lifetime!!
But, I digress...I chose Khadija as the name I would chose if I had to have a "Muslim" name. Khadija (Radi Allahu Anha) was the first of the wives of the Prophet (Salla Allahu Aleyhi Salaam). I am, to this date, the first wife of my husband, lol :). Which is another blog post entirely. But honestly, yes I respect and revere and look up to all of the Wives and women around the Prophet (Salla Allahu Aleyhi Salaam), but, Khadija was the first. 1.) She was a business owner in the Jahiliyyah period when women were not much better than cattle (so this was an amazing feat alone). 2.)She was the first woman to convert to Islam, 3.) she loved her husband, and believed in her husband, always. 4.) Even before he was a prophet, he would go to Cave Hira and meditate (even before his first revelation), and she would climb the mountain to bring him food. She is just my hero.
Yes, I have my moments, when the kids are crazy and I am feeling even crazier, that I don't particularly want to go and get my husbands' food and meal ready before he goes to work and I have to get the kids up and about as well. And on and on. But, my husband works 80 hours a week for us, so I can stay with the kids. Alhamdulillah. So, it is my mission to improve my self so I can benefit my family even more. And, at this point, sometimes I don't feel as if I would even live up to my name, Khadija. But, one day insha'Allah.

I am an overthinker. I can shut myself in at times and stew over ideas and thoughts until it seems that there are more thoughts than me. Now that being said, I am not impaired, I just need to distract myself and get out and do things from time to time to release that focus. Today I have found my focus, Alhamdulillah!! (All Praise to God)

I went on a hike today with my kids. By myself. I knew it was a day that would either have me inside finishing some knitting projects with the baby while my older (more mobile) children played outside in the crisp, golden October day. Instead, I decided to go out and do something with my kids-take a hike. Not knowing many hikes in the Blue Ridge Mountains other than the one I had known about, I decided to go on that anyway. So, I got everyone dressed and packed the diaper bag. Got my hubby to turn on the alarms so that he could be at work on time.

It was only a twenty five minute drive, but man, what a view!! We are litterally miles from God's Creation, which brings a peace to me simply from the view. But to be out there, in Allah's creation, smelling the smells, hearing every single thing, from the rocks and the trees to the tiny ants and the white and black wooly worms on the rock, brings such a dramatic solution of peace to my heart, to bring me back into focus of what really matters.

I took four kids, ranging from ages 10, 9, 4, and 19 months on an uphill hike. The entire way is uphill. I knew that it was not likely we would reach the summit this go round. We have hiked more and more since May, but they have all been "baby" trails accustomed to take a stroller. But, we made it more than half way there, and didn't have a stroller, just a sling, and at the bottom, two very tired arms. We stopped, we looked at nature, and spotted a white wooly worm on a mission. We talked to lots of doggies and other people. I am convinced that just as in life, sometimes we have to know when to say when, and know that we'll be back as long as God Wills it, Insha'Allah. When we are ready, we'll face that summit.

Asalaam ualaikum warahmatullahee wabarakatu. I am Anne Bacheller, I have four children masha'Allah. I have one daughter, Adara who is almost 10, and three boys, alhamdulillah. My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years alhamdulillah, masha'Allah. My husband and I reverted over 5 years ago alhamdulillah, within 2 weeks of each other. I believe in natural living, natural cooking, (no preboxed meals, LOOL!). I knit, cloth diaper, bake, and love my laundry balls , love the Sals Suds, and Dr. Bronners Castille Soap. I believe we are responsible from Allah for what we are given and we must answer for that on the day of judgement for what we were given what we did with it and how thankful we were. I do not homeschool yet but am looking into it for my children.